What does it mean to be nonbinary?

Some of us have searched the answer to this question for long time; for others it is very clear. Some of us are in the process of figuring out. What is certain: this is a question that only each of us can answer. Nobody can tell us what our identity is, or what our names and pronouns are—even if the oppressive society attempts to do that and tell us that we should fit this or that box.

As a group exercise in our last meeting in July, we did a collage for everyone to write on what it means for us to be nonbinary.

These are some of the answers:

“Being nonbinary means never being expected to be someone’s wife. To be able to create my own definitions for how this one should be. Having the chance to be free to decide how to perform.”

“Ser no binarie es asumir una identidad fuera de un regimen opresivo.” [To be nonbinary is to assume an identity outside of an oppressive regime.]

“Being nonbinary to me is the freedom and burden to figure out who I want to be from day to day anew.”

“Knowing that I’m able to be me without the constraints of gender binaries or cis pressure to conform.”

“To me it means existing the way I am without being forced in one gender, being free, being genderfree, being genderless.”

“Very often not being taken seriously, being ignored.”

“Being non binary means that I don’t accept any norms of the hetero patriarchy in my life. I ignore gendered expectations, I spend much time trying to live close to my feelings and needs an not living up to norms like monogamy or else.”

“Being nonbinary to me means making the lyrics “we all get it in the end – you find your demon’s your best friend” com true.”

“Being myself.”

“Being fluid in self-identity and expression and feeling comfortable being me!”

“Living my truth.”

What is your answer?

If you have been through the process of figuring it out or if you are still wondering, feel free to get in touch per email and send us your answer.

Or if you can and feel invited, come to our next meetup! 🙂


Last update: 2019.08.01